If and Did

A man named If sat on a bench
Near the end of his days.

A man named Did was walking by
And stopped for a moment along his way

“Hello there sir”, Did did declare
“Gotta run” he said, without a second to spare

“Oh, hello” whispered If “What’s the big hurry?
Where are you going? Why do you scurry?”

“There’s so much to do” said Did to If
“Gotta go, gotta do. Gotta be, gotta live.”
“I’ve climbed mountains, I’ve sailed seas
I’ve danced with Kings, I’ve cured disease
I’ve done so much, but the years they are few
And there’s still so much, so much stuff left to do

What about you, friend. Have you lived your life full?
Have you seen the seven wonders? Have you run with the bulls?

“No” said If. in a voice that was low
“I just sat on this bench and just watched the people go
I quite often thought what life could’ve been
But I just sat here much to my own chagrin

I could’ve done much If only I would’ve
I could’ve been great, I guess maybe I should’ve
But this seat was so comfy, so warm and so cozy
I wanted to talk to people but I couldn’t be nosy
I wanted to dance or even to sing
But I’m not the kind of person who does those things.
I could’ve traveled but I didn’t know where
I could’ve had fun if only I dared
So here I sit my years mostly spent
Never seeing what you saw, never going where you went”

“Sad”, said Did, feeling sorry for this fellow
But glad that he stopped by just to give him a “Hello”.
“I have something that will brighten you spirits
Something that will bring you joy just to simply hear it.”

“I don’t know” said the frightened old If
“But I guess I could use just a tiny lift”

“Good” said Did, “It is a small proposal”
Of how to spend all the time you have at your disposal
I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you my story
All the fun, all the pain, all the sadness and the glory

That way, my friend, I’ll still be busy doing
And you, well you will simply be reviewing
So you can experience life as if you’re the one
And I can do the one thing that I haven’t done.”

“What’s that?” asked If as cheery as ever
He couldn’t imagine an endeavor never Did ever
“I never reflected at how good life has been
I’ve been so busy going a hundred and ten
I never paused to be thankful for all I’ve been given
I wrote my own song but I don’t know the rhythm

So If, if you’ll oblige me. may I sit and review?
Can I stop and relax? Can I share it with you?”

If was so pleased, he listened and smiled
Then he heard about life; every year and each mile

And Did was happy to finally reflect
He started at the beginning, and he didn’t miss a speck

If and Did near the end of their days
Spent all their time with one another
Like long lost friends, or two close brothers
They both learned a lesson that neither had learned
That Did never experienced and If never yearned

That life isn’t about what you did or did not
It isn’t about sitting still or doing a lot
If and Did learned through good and bad weather
That the only thing that makes life worth living
Is being together

Fat cat

Today I saw a cat that was fat
So fat, in fact, that when he sat
He looked like a ball of fur that was flat
As if it fell from the sky and went “kersplat”.
And that, my friends, is that.

Draggin' dragon

Today I saw a dragon,
Whose head was low and draggin’.
Draggin’ on the ground
“What’s wrong?” I asked
“Why so glum?
You’re the saddest dragon around.”

The dragon lifted a single eye
Then he let out
an incredible sigh.
“I can’t breathe fire..
There’s no damsel at my side.
I don’t have a castle to guard.
No island to shield.
Or treasure to hide.
I’m nothing special
Hardly a dragon at all
‘cept I’ve got scales on my back
and I’m seventy feet tall.”

“It’s not so bad”,
I quickly replied
“If you breathed fire,
Everyone would be fried.
If you had a damsel
She’d be in distress,
Then you’d be hunted down
across the wilderness.
If you had a castle to guard,
you couldn’t leave your post
Not even to eat
whatever dragons eat most.
If you had an island,
you’d be all alone.
No friends, no one to play with,
or even call on the phone.
And sure, you’ve got scales,
more than I can see
And yes you’re much taller
than the highest of trees.
But there’s not one reason to be draggin’ around.
Seems you’ve got it better than most dragons in town.

“Maybe you’re right”,
as his head rose from the earth.
“I’m free to be me,
and that has plenty of worth.
I can laugh and dance.
I don’t have a post,
And I’m free to eat
whatever dragons eat most.”
“Which is what?”
I wondered and curiously inquired.
And the dragon looked
as if suddenly inspired.
“Well it’s funny you should ask me that,
my tiny little matey
‘cuz it involves you”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yup”
And then he ate me.

Discussion

God, I think we must discuss
What you were thinking when you made the platypus.
And I think that you truly must debunk
Why you made such a stink when you created the skunk.
And I really think I have to ask
Why you made the raccoon wear that silly mask.
But I absolutely must give you great praise
For doing three things wrong in only six days.

A little poem

Charlie Moore
Was very poor
But happy for whatever he got.
He looked all around
And saw spoiled kids frown
Deciding little can be more than a lot.

Grunter

I never, never, ever speak.
I’m two years old and zip, zero. Not a peep.
I could say “momma” but I think I’ll say “uhhh”
I could say “pappa” but I’ll just go with “tuhh”
I could ask for things, but I think I’ll just growl.
I could even say the alphabet, all the consonants, and the vowels.
But if I started to talk, they might treat me like a kid
Then they’d ask me questions about what I know or what I did.
So I’ll keep my trap shut for a good long while.
I’ll just point and grunt, and inside I’ll smile.

But wait - maybe today I’ll give them just a flavor.
Something to think about, and something to savor.
*Ahem* “Interplanetary”, I declare loud and clear.
“Did you hear that?” “I think he said…”
Hee-hee-hee. They’ll just have to wait another year.

Perspective

The glass is never full
The glass is never empty
It's always a little of both
And that, my friends, is plenty.

Fish wish

I often wonder if fish sleep.
And, if so,
How do they stay deep?
Wouldn’t they just
float to the surface
unless they were awake
and swimming on purpose?

I often wonder if fish hear.
Or if they’re sad,
can they shed tears?
And since they’re in a school all day,
Do they worried when
they don’t get A’s?

I also wonder if fish wish.
Like if they wish
they weren’t a fish.
If I were a fish
and I had one wish
I’d simply wish
that I’d never end up
on a dinner dish.

Some day

Someday I’ll do what I want
Someday I won’t have to hurry
Someday I won’t have to listen
Someday I won’t have to worry

Someday I’ll be grown up
Someday they’ll be no school
Someday I won’t have homework
Someday they’ll be no rules

Yes Someday is the place
Where I’d like to be
It’s splendid to think about
Must be splendid to see

But the problem with Someday
Is that it’s not what it seems
The problem with Someday
Is that it’s only a dream

Someday I’ll be perfect
Which is to say, never
Cause Someday never comes
No it never comes, ever

So may as well forget
About that perfect Someday
Cuz Someday you’ll wish
That you loved your todays.

Too much

Bobby Jeffries has a lot of things
Stuff that he simply adores
He keeps buying and buying and buying and buying
And buying and buying some more

He’s got stuff all around him,
In baskets and boxes
On tables, on chairs
And buried under rockses.
In garages and in attics
In basements, under stairs
In closets, in storage
Everywhere a where’s to spare

The more he fills up his spaces,
The emptier his heart gets
The more he fills up his rooms
The more he piles up regrets.

Yes, Bobby Jeffries has a lot of things
In crates and bags and sacks,
But all these years that he’s loved his stuff
His stuff’s never loved him back.

In a minute

In Tucson, a whole crowd mourns.
In Tuscaloosa, three babies are born.
In Kansas City, a new widow cries.
In Kalamazoo, a newborn opens her eyes.


Life ends just as it begins.
Begins as it ends.
It happens and happens.
And happens again.
All these things happen every single minute
So stop looking for a world of miracles
Cuz you’re already in it.

Thought bubble

Above me is a place that’s filled
with whatever I can dream
Like a marvelous new vision
or an extraordinary scene.

So here goes, I’m thinking.
I’m almost done…..
Don’t you worry
it’ll be great when it finally comes.

Just hold on tight
I’m going to show you proof
My thought bubble is growing
Whoops. It just went *poof*.

Follow

They said follow my heart,
So I danced to the beat.
They said follow my gut,
So I got something to eat.
They said follow my instincts,
So I searched for a smell.
They said listen my soul,
But my shoe wouldn’t tell

Guess I wasn’t sure
What they were all saying
Seemed like a lot of things
To always keep obeying.
So instead of worrying
About following their advice
Maybe I’ll just follow
Whatever feels right.

The very thristy Googily in my closet

“Mom, there’s a Googily in my closet.
That I’ve never, ever seen.
But I hear it each night
As I drift off to dream
It usually doesn’t bug me,
But tonight, I can’t rest.
So please mom, the Googily
has one small request.
A glass of water
Is all he requires
Then back in the closet
Or wherever he desires”

“OK”, she said with sarcastic smile
“Anything for your Googily
Just give me a while.”

“Gee whiz, thanks mom,
He sure will love it.”

“Well, son, tell your Googily
to think nothing of it.”

"THANKS” boomed a voice
that shook the walls and fixtures.
Mom froze, swallowed hard and said:
“Perhaps I’ll get a pitcher.”

Wonderthink

Ever wonder if we’re all alone
or if a world exists far from home?
Could there be some kids at play
on a planet zillions of miles away?
Or maybe there’s a universe that’s really small.
That exists inside my basketball.
Or maybe there’s one that’s really big.
And we’re just a speck of dirt on a humongous pig.
Have you ever had the strange sensation
That we’re all in someone’s imagination?
Ever felt like you’ve done something before?
Like you know what’s on the other side of a door?
There’s so much in this world that we don’t understand.
Are we just a small part of a big, beautiful plan?
Or is it just an idea that went awry?
Could it all be over in the blink of an eye?
So Mom? Dad? If it’s all just a dream,
I’d sure like to have another bowl of ice cream.

Attention span

I like pizza.
Read to me.
I like to count.
A-B-C.
Can we get a dog?
Hey, what’s for lunch?
When’s Halloween?
Can I have some punch?
Turn on the TV.
Click. Click. Click.
Let’s run around now.
Quick. Quick. Quick.
It’s not that I’m strange
just please understand
I’m merely a kid
with no attention span.