Absurd bird

Yesterday I saw a bird
And he seemed a bit absurd
He said “hello”
I said "huh? whoa”
'Cause I couldn’t believe what I heard.


He went on, “Good day, my friend”
I couldn’t believe I heard it again.
I found it abnormal
That he was so formal
But I decided an ear I would lend


And then he politely asked for some food
I said “I’ll check”, ‘cause I hate to be rude.
I thought long and hard.
I looked ‘round the yard
“Sorry, no” is what I had to conclude.


“Well there’s a fishing store five blocks away”
The bird said in a much less courteous way
“They sell worms by the bunch
Which would be great for lunch.”
So I begrudgingly said, “OK”


Then I walked to the store, a good mile from there.
“Just ask for a can”, that bird did declare.
I walked into the store
It was a dollar and four.
“I’ll pay you back” he said, “I swear”


When I opened the can, I thought the bird was quite clever
And started to think this was a daily endeavor
When the store clerk screamed
“Bird, you still up to this scheme?
I told you not to come back! Not ever!”


So if a bird talks to you, make sure you stand firm
And deal with him on your very own terms
I shoulda conceived
But I didn’t believe
That I’d opened such a big can of worms.